What actually silence says.
“Our lives begin to finish the day we become silent about things that matter.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
What actually Silence is?
People often say that “silence is golden”, some say that “silence is better than unnecessary drama”, and some also say that “silence speaks louder than words”. But what actually silence trying to say, and how people understand its meaning..?
What is mean by Silence?
Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It’s ambiguous and it can express lots of different emotions and feelings ranging from joy, happiness, grief, an embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance, or love. What it means depends on the context.
Silence vs feelings
If you don’t accept the other person as they are, that will most likely be quite apparent to them. And they will be less likely to share their feelings and problems with you at other times.
Sometimes we need to speak up and don’t do it. Too frequently, we silence ourselves once we have feelings we expect or feel sure the opposite person won’t want to listen to. We often do that because we value the connection and are afraid that it’ll worsen. Or maybe end if we are saying how we actually feel. Ironically, without honest and open dialogue, there’s no possibility of a deeper and better relationship.
Silencing yourself contributes to the very thing you would like to avoid. Further, if it’s anger, resentment or another strong negative feeling that you simply have, keeping silent doesn’t make that feeling dissipate. Just the other happens–the unspoken problem remains, distancing occurs and therefore the relationship suffers as a result.
Silence can hurt the feelings
At other times, you are feeling hurt, angry or upset by something another person says or does. Because letting them skills you are feeling causes you to vulnerable, you opt to stay those feelings inside and withhold them from the opposite person. Sulking, pouting, pursed lips, not answering, abrupt answers, ignoring the opposite person, giving them the “cold shoulder” are signs of this type of silence, otherwise referred to as “the silent treatment.” Invariably, the silent treatment is hurtful to everyone involved. Even so, many folks have a bent to withdraw and withhold when we’re in emotional pain, especially from the person we perceive is causing it.
Sometimes silence means pain. It’s painful to talk about what hurts, it’s painful to tell someone that they broke your heart and it’s painful to show someone how vulnerable you are and how much they mean to you when you’re not sure what kind of reaction you’ll get and when you’re not sure what you really mean to them. Silence is best than sounding crazy, weak or irrational. Silence sometimes saves you from further rejection or hearing belongings you don’t want to listen to.
Silence can speak in the form of Love
Sometimes silence means love. Loving someone such a lot but you can’t say anything because you don’t want to lose them. You don’t want to push them away. You don’t want things to be awkward if they don’t feel the same way. So you watch them in silence, you miss them in silence, you think that about them silently. And you pretend such as you don’t want them. You say nothing when someone mentions their name, you say nothing when someone talks about their sexual love.
Paul Schroeder, PhD, Professor of Communication Studies reviewed 74 relationship studies which involved quite 14,000 participants.
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the rebuff is ‘tremendously’ damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to speak during a way that’s healthy and meaningful.
The rebuff happens when one partner pressures the opposite with requests, criticism or complaints and therefore the other responds with silence and emotional distance.
The Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is one of the most torturous punishments that another person can inflict upon you. They use silence as their weapon of choice. By withholding their approval, they expect you to figure out what’s wrong and resolve things before they’re going to resume lecture you. Of course, if you haven’t noticed the matter before you’re given the silent treatment; an overdose of silence isn’t getting to make it any clearer. The rebuff could also be an unhealthy habit or it’s going to be a deliberate, vicious, manipulative option to inflict the maximum amount of emotional pain as possible. Either way, it needs to be dealt with swiftly because it is one of the most unhealthy and destructive forces in any relationship.
The rebuff is one among the foremost common sorts of Passive Aggressive Behavior.
Silence Is Controlling
When we consider controlling people, we ordinarily conjure images of loud or aggressive individuals. They may, in fact, appear to be bullying and controlling of others. Yet we know exactly what we’re dealing with. There are no surprises. There’s a way more insidious sort of control, however, which is based upon silence. When we don’t share our thoughts with each other, we are often doing so to control the other’s reactions and behaviour. If they don’t know what we’re contemplating, then they can’t possibly respond. At times, people who are inclined to please others or avoid confrontation fall prey to this dilemma. The tendency is to settle on silence instead of upset the opposite party.
The logic of a man’s silence
While some men are considered to be ‘talkers’, many men tend to be less talkative than women. Especially when it involves particularly emotional issues.
A man’s silence may puzzle a lady to the purpose where it’s going to drive her crazy.
A man can make it easier for a lady to know his silence by letting her know a touch of what’s happening on in his soul. His blank silence can frustrate her got to communicate with him. No doubt, his silence can be deafening.
From her perspective, she feels on the brink of him not only she hears his logical thoughts, but his feelings also.
Silence is used to punish
At other times, silence is used to punish. By withdrawing from the relationship, silence becomes a medium for anger, also obstructing the opportunity for resolution. In such cases, silence is employed to control the other’s behaviour. It mutes our thoughts and feelings and deprives us of the potential for authentic dialogue. There is no possibility of resolution.